Saturday, January 15, 2011

Changing the Standard.

We set way too high expectations for ourselves as mothers.

We believe we should have this supernatural freaky super hero power to daily prepare hearty yet healthy foods, have a clean house, teach the two year old how to quote Shakespeare, sew something, read something intellectual yet practical to our daily lives, have written 10 blogs and then welcome our husbands home with a perky smile by the end of each day (oh and attended a play date or two).

This is unrealistic. Women have always competed on the home front and in child rearing but I believe that the world of Facebook and blogging has added extra pressure to the mom.

Every time she logs onto her computer she is inundated with status's of her friends accomplishments, how so and so's 2 month old counts to 52, how such and such made matching dresses for all 20 of her kids - You get the point.

I start reading blogs and all the women seem perpetually happy with sweet anecdotes. They always have a witty light hearted comeback for every difficult situation and never seem to be tired or frustrated.

As a result I look at my own life and productivity in comparison and have feelings of guilt and inadequacy as a mother and wife. I am trying to be someone who is unattainable.

As with photographs in media of airbrushed supermodels, blogs and Facebook have a habit of 'airbrushing' lives to where you only see the highlights and not the daily struggles that we all have.

It's time to change the standard. God's standard.

Let this years standard be to love. To love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and to love your neighbour as yourself.

This year, come on the journey with me, let God plan your day and activities. Feel the burden taken from your shoulders. When our children look back at the happy times, they won't remember so much all the 'stuff' but they will remember our relationships with God and how it beautifully transformed your love for them.

They will remember to love between you and your husband, as you model the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.

You don't have to climb a mountain of tasks each day. Just walk down a path God leads you on at a pace He has set for you.

Take each day slow. Set small goals. Do what you do for God, not because you feel like you need to live up to s standard that you see on social networks or in parenting magazine.

Don't just keep adding stuff to your life to 'keep up with the Jones'. Not making your own laundry detergent, ordering fast food every now and then, not always getting everyone out there PJ's and watching tv, having a good ol' cry doesn't make you below par, it makes you real and human. We are a work in progress, trying each day to be more like Christ. Not that we are perfect from the get go.

Pray about what is a priority in your life. Pray about what gifts and talents God wants you to use in your home to show love and beauty.

Our job is not to be super woman, but to super LOVE the people in our lives.


  1. Rosie, my friend,

    Thank you for your honesty and openness. Thank you for being frank. I am praying for you each week! I miss you and hope to "see" you soon!

  2. Thank you sweet Ashley for your prayers and encouragement.

    In 2010, I really didn't do any of the 'stuff' and felt inadequate. We ate a lot of boring meals, we had a lot of pajama days. In was a challenging year, but probably one of my biggest years in spiritual growth between, pregnancy, transitioning from SWBTS, moving, near death experiences, all that jazz.

    I found myself regretting being more productive and creative around the house, to realise, that the most important thing was, that by the end of 2010, I loved my family, my friends and my God more than ever before.

  3. :) AMEN and AMEN. I love reading your blog.

    I love the new look of your blog and I saw you started a new blog too! Thanks for your words of affirmation. You are so sweet.