Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year Resolutions...

I thought so much about 2013, about THIS blog. I had eloquent words, wisdom, high hopes. Then this morning I woke up feeling quite wretched. After months of exhausting, morning aches of pregnancy, my 2 year old waking up at 5am, I had developed the habit of immediately putting on Thomas the tank engine, then drifting off on the sofa to sleep.

My first resolution was LESS TV. We used to be a no TV home, but the last 9 months, eradicated my resolution, and the habits slowly formed. 2013, we would have a basket of pre approved DVDs, that the children would only be allowed to watch one per day, during the time I was preparing dinner.

Yet, as I woke up with this hard hitting stomach bug, I caved into Thomas, since I knew I needed the cheerful engines help during the sprints to that porcelain throne.

It was 6 hours into 2013 and I had already failed.

My children all awoke. We gathered on the sofa with blankets and PJ's, and I clutched my bottle of water, nursed tiny almost 3 week old, snuggled little boy, and watched girls in PJ's & tiara's enjoy Cinderella.

It was then I realized, that I hardly even just sit like this with the kids. If they are watching a movie... I am working, editing, cleaning ... and then it became clear, I had not completely failed, since my other resolutions were falling nicely into place....

Time to sit quietly with the children...
More time to soak up and observe the simple things in life...
Observing my children's personalities through varying reactions to Lucifee, Gus Gus, the sisters...
Watching their faces, hearing their thoughts...


2012 my resolution was to have more joy...  more joy that comes from Christ. 2013 ... my prayer is that I will have more peace ... in my heart & in my home.

I think that all the resolutions that are filling my heart ... have one over arching theme... the desire for peace.

The type of peace, that allows you to see more clearly and enjoy simplicity and silence.

The kind of peace that adds a steady pace and routine to each day.

Peace that brings organization, that helps life fall into place, because you have found a rhythm.

Peace that pauses the action and opens eyes to the beautiful.

A peacefulness that opens your eyes to praise and thanks.

A peace that shows you how much you have to be thankful for and to soak up every second before it slips away...

The peace that lets anger, frustration, raised voices ... become quiet...

A peace that slows down your negative emotions and gives you self control over them,

A peace that shows you Christ in all things.

A peace that teaches you how to be like Christ in all circumstances...

My resolutions aren't rules I can fail at... my resolution, is a prayer...  for a peaceful spirit, that when 2014 begins, I can look back at 2013, and see all the ways, that a journey to greater peace in my heart and my home, has permeated all the tiny details.

The same way, I can see how 2012's prayer for JOY permeates every single aspect of our daily life, and our family identity.

And I pray, that there will be lots less, maybe NO tv... because I think my need for it, comes from lack of peace... because... I don't have the peace to believe, that in Christ, I have the strength and ability to handle the hard days without it.

I came to NEED it, as a coping mechanism... to bring peace... when I believed... that I couldn't handle my day without those times of cartoon induced rest... and when I rely on a show, rather than Christ to get me through... I miss out on ways He can sanctify me and also, opportunities to read, play, talk or create with my little ones... before they are grown, and its too late... and I look back and regret...

Now ... for some FUN goals for the year ...

  • Paint my nails every now and then in fun colors. 
  • Write out 1000 Gifts
  • Take a photo a day
  • Read a book, one at a time, from cover to cover, instead of having several on the go all at once, that never get finished. 
  • Always fold my laundry right out of the dryer.
  • Dye my hair a different color ... red? brunette? 
  • Write more poetry
  • Fill out the children's baby books. 
  • Go to the outer banks and sleep on the beach! 
  • Find a favorite Thai and a favorite Indian restaurant in the Raleigh Area
  • Run the HER.org 5K with Holly Barton in Washington DC
  • Mix colors and patterns creatively when I dress

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