Monday, January 9, 2012


Wake Forest. Home. I know that this quaint hilly city with dense forests and old homes with wrap around porches is now home. The cold and rain comfort me as I rest from the long drive, truck loading and unloading. I think back to hot, dry, flat Texas.

I don't live here yet. The places are not mine. The historic downtown, winding roads and friendly neighbors all belong to someone else. Yet.

How long does it take a place to be home? North Carolina has been my dream so long, that I fear to fall in love for the worry that it will be taken away or not the home, the place of settling and rest that my weary heart longs for.

I longed for the rain. The trees. The hills. Places to walk. Friends to request a cup of sugar from. Tiny wondrous shops, a world away from the harsh commercialism of the typical America consumer landscape.

The little apartment in with pine trees outside the window, wood floors and three rooms. Isn't mine yet. Though my things are towered against walls in crumpling boxes longing for relief from their long held loads. I look at the bland cardboard with the handwriting of moves past and I am not quite sure what they contain. It's not my home yet. Will it be my home? How long will it be before I say goodbye again?

As we unloaded, the crowd of strangers grew, toting boxes along the wooden stair case to the second floor home. I praised God for these people whose names I heartbreakingly could not keep track of. I praised Him for their love for Him and their willingness to haul loads for these strange people who had travelled from Texas.

Christ encourages me ....

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I believe, this will be my resting place, and my home. For now, I will unpack the Kitchen and contract the beds. Then I will write down my 'to do' list and patiently watch and God reveals His glorious and sanctifying plan for this chapter of our lives.

Wake Forest. You are to be home.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012...

2011, I cannot say I loved you. Yet, I know that when the dust settles, I will look back and be thankful for the hard times, that God allowed, to change me for the better. That the pain and anger of the past and the present was dealt with head on, so that I could find greater healing in the long run. Like Eustace the Dragon, you slowly tore off the scales. It was unpleasant and painful, but needed to happen, so that something more beautiful could emerge.

2011, Was the hardest year of my adult life where I suffered post-natal depression alone with little to no support system. The long days alone with my thoughts, prayers and battles.

2012. Though my hope is in Jesus Christ and His redeeming love, I do have a hope for you. That it will be a year that I learn to know the joy and peace of Jesus that transcends all understanding, in all circumstances.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12: 1-3

Here are two songs that I best relate to 2011...

HERE are several songs that I dedicate to 2012

I am sure there will be more :-)

Happy New Year!