Changing the Standard.

We set way too high expectations for ourselves as mothers.

We believe we should have this supernatural freaky super hero power to daily prepare hearty yet healthy foods, have a clean house, teach the two year old how to quote Shakespeare, sew something, read something intellectual yet practical to our daily lives, have written 10 blogs and then welcome our husbands home with a perky smile by the end of each day (oh and attended a play date or two).

This is unrealistic. Women have always competed on the home front and in child rearing but I believe that the world of Facebook and blogging has added extra pressure to the mom.

Every time she logs onto her computer she is inundated with status's of her friends accomplishments, how so and so's 2 month old counts to 52, how such and such made matching dresses for all 20 of her kids - You get the point.

I start reading blogs and all the women seem perpetually happy with sweet anecdotes. They always have a witty light hearted comeback for every difficult situation and never seem to be tired or frustrated.

As a result I look at my own life and productivity in comparison and have feelings of guilt and inadequacy as a mother and wife. I am trying to be someone who is unattainable.

As with photographs in media of airbrushed supermodels, blogs and Facebook have a habit of 'airbrushing' lives to where you only see the highlights and not the daily struggles that we all have.

It's time to change the standard. God's standard.

Let this years standard be to love. To love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and to love your neighbour as yourself.

This year, come on the journey with me, let God plan your day and activities. Feel the burden taken from your shoulders. When our children look back at the happy times, they won't remember so much all the 'stuff' but they will remember our relationships with God and how it beautifully transformed your love for them.

They will remember to love between you and your husband, as you model the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.

You don't have to climb a mountain of tasks each day. Just walk down a path God leads you on at a pace He has set for you.

Take each day slow. Set small goals. Do what you do for God, not because you feel like you need to live up to s standard that you see on social networks or in parenting magazine.


Don't just keep adding stuff to your life to 'keep up with the Jones'. Not making your own laundry detergent, ordering fast food every now and then, not always getting everyone out there PJ's and watching tv, having a good ol' cry doesn't make you below par, it makes you real and human. We are a work in progress, trying each day to be more like Christ. Not that we are perfect from the get go.

Pray about what is a priority in your life. Pray about what gifts and talents God wants you to use in your home to show love and beauty.


Our job is not to be super woman, but to super LOVE the people in our lives.

What We Tell Our Kids About Santa...

Every Christian parent struggles with the dilemma: What do we tell our children about Christmas?

I ran across this post by Pastor Mark Driscoll on the Mars Hill website. It provides some interesting insights and helpful histories.

I was glad for some perspective, as tonight we went to our apartment complex party which had a Santa. I wasn't sure what to tell the children but also wanted to go to the party in order to join in with our community.


What We Tell Our Kids About Santa | Pastor Mark for the Washington Post | The Mars Hill Blog


I also want to clarify, on a general basis, that when I post articles written by other authors, I have read with discernment and found some or most of the information helpful. This does not mean I endorse every statement in the article or everything the individual says, writes or stands for. Remember - Do the research and make prayerful decisions.

Modesty

I was sent this article after a conversation with the lovely Michelle Bullens. Its a fantastic little article on modesty. I've pasted it below for your convenience, here's the link in case you want to explore the website more, which I have not done yet!

http://purefreedom.org/media0015.htm


"Truth Or Bare?" Modesty Tests

This is the much requested list of creative tests to determine whether an outfit is modest or not. We developed them so a girl can go through the thinking process by herself and let her heart be molded into modesty rather than face a legalistic set of rules. These may work for you or you may want to develop your own tests. Try them out and send us new ideas!

TEST #1-SPRING VALLEY
"Is my shirt too tight?"

Take the tips of your fingers and press into your shirt right where your ribs come together in the "valley" in the middle of your chest. When you take your fingers away does your shirt immediately spring back like a small Smurf trampoline? If so, your shirt it too tight!
SOLUTION: Get rid of the shirt. It's not going to get bigger overnight. Try a different bra first as sometimes that can make a huge difference.

TEST #2-RAISE & PRAISE
"Am I showing too much belly?"

Stand and pretend you are totally going for it in worship and lift your hands up in the air with your arms fully extended to God. Is this exposing any belly skin? Even if you don't raise your hands to worship, just think of all the things you do every day that causes you to lift them up.
SOLUTION: Go for layers and put a longer shirt under a shorter one. Our secret weapon: a ribbed t-shirt or tank from the men's department. They're nice and long and stay tucked in under a cool, trendy shirt.

TEST #3-I SEE LONDON, I SEE FRANCE
"Can you see my underpants?"

Can you see a distinct outline of your panties through your pants, skirt or shorts? This can happen if your pants are too tight or because your undies are too bright! And while we're on the subject, can you see any straps from your bra? That's not A-O-K! The only straps showing on a girl of God should be the straps from her cute summer sandals!
SOLUTION: Trash your tight pants. For lighter colored pants and skirts, keep a few pair of "Grannie Panties" (big plain white ones) on hand for a safe look. And as far as those bra straps...don't do it! Make sure your tank tops have nice wide straps to cover your bra.

TEST #4-MIRROR IMAGE
"How short is too short?"

When you buy either shorts or a skirt, try this test. Sit in front of a full length mirror. Sit both "indian style" on the floor and with your legs crossed in a chair. What do you see? If you see too much thigh or your panties, guess what? So can everyone else. If you really want to up the ante, imagine that mirror is your dear ol' grandpa! (P.S. We stole this test from Susie Shellenberger or Brio magazine! Thanks, Susie!)
SOLUTION: Today's skirts are about extremes. Go for extremely long...extremely full...but pass on extremely short. As far as shorts go...they can be hard to find but keep looking! And check out the favorite places to shop on this blog. It'll help you find shorts with longer in-seams!

TEST #5-THE PLUMBERS TEST
"Are my pants just too low?"

It 'aint cute on the plumber and it 'aint so cute on girls either. The terrible...the awful....crack view! Sit "indian style" on the floor. Bend forward as if you're about to devour a great magazine. Now, reach behind you and get a feel of what might be the featured view if your jeans are too low. (Or ask a girlfriend to check you out!)
SOLUTION: Some low riders are just too low. Find a pair that won't cause viewers to blush for you.

TEST #6-STAND IN THE GAP
"Tell me now...is my shirt too tight?"

When wearing a button down shirt, stand sideways and look in the mirror. Is the space between the buttons gaping open, even just a little bit? If it's pulling enough to cause a gap you're in danger of exposing way too much and in danger of losing a button!
SOLUTION: NO Brainer. Shirts that are too tight are a totally bad idea if you want to dress modestly. It's not JUST about how much of our beautiful epidermis is showing, but how much of our shape is showing! Try buying a size or two larger. (If that bugs you cut out the tag when you get home.) Or, try a t-shirt under the button down and leave it open for a layered look.

TEST #7-BRA-LLIANTE IDEA
"Is it cold in here?"

OK, girls...hate to bring this one up but when we get cold or nervous sometimes we can "get nippy"...if you catch my drift. When this happens, it is visible to others IF our bras are not thick enough. There's no test for this really...at least not one that I want to take! But keep in mind that when you're wearing thinner shirts, wear a thicker bra to avoid this problem. When you have on a sweater or a thicker shirt, go for a thin and cute bra if you want!

TEST #8-PALM PILOT
"Is my shirt too low?"

It's time for a secret weapon! A men's tank, slip this under a button down that exposes cleavage below your hand when placing your thumb on your collar bone. You can also try a trendy layering technique by putting a button down under a polo or rugby shirt that plunges too low.

---